I started programming sometime around 2021–22. I don't remember the exact date, but it was somewhere around there. It was lockdown, and I was bored. Really bored. I was spending way too much time playing games, and eventually I stumbled across programming.
I picked up a Python course, set everything up on my shitty i3 Windows laptop, and started coding. I built a bunch of small projects with Python. I think most of them are still somewhere on my GitHub.
Pretty soon, though, I realized I wanted to build things with actual UIs. I had no idea how to do that with Python, so I started searching. That's how I discovered HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and web development.
I started building websites, eventually learned React, and went down the frontend rabbit hole. I built a ridiculous number of frontend projects.
I fucking hate frontend now, though.
Then I finished school at the end of 2022, and 2023 came around. ChatGPT had just entered the mainstream, and I had two options for my bachelor's degree.
One was a BSc in Economics. I was actually pretty good at statistics and macroeconomics in school.
The other was a CS degree, another subject I was pretty good at. My school actually taught Python as part of the computer science curriculum, and I was doing quite well there too.
And this is where I made my first major career mistake.
I had taken Commerce in 11th and 12th.
And to be clear, I didn't take Commerce because I was bad at Science or because I couldn't get into PCM. I got 88.95% in 10th, and my school itself was willing to offer me Science.
I just had this itch to study Commerce because I was genuinely interested in it.
Looking back, I regret that decision.
Because it meant I couldn't pursue a BTech, which is still the degree a lot of recruiters seem to look for when hiring for engineering roles.
Anyway, I had planned to go to the Czech Republic for my bachelor's in CS. Long story short, the timing of my CBSE results, visa processing, passport, and university application deadlines just didn't line up.
So I was left with one option: study for my undergraduate degree in India.
I ended up joining BCA at BGU, despite being pretty disappointed about how things had turned out.
And university was... a huge shitshow.
There was basically one tech club, and it was led by people who were more interested in showing off than actually doing tech. They were perfectly happy with their Excel skills.
Pretty quickly, I realized something:
Whatever I wanted to do, I was going to have to do myself.
I went pretty hard during my first five or six months. I was learning, building things, experimenting, and generally obsessed with getting better.
Then the aggression started slowing down.
The environment definitely played a role. There wasn't much ambition around me. There wasn't much energy. I didn't really have people around me who wanted to work at the same intensity I did.
I don't blame everyone around me for that. But it was definitely a factor.
Then second year came around.
I was deep into web development, and I got the opportunity to lead one of the new tech communities at college as a co-organizer of GDSC.
I taught juniors and classmates whatever I knew. I organized events. I helped people get started with development.
And there was another problem.
I was probably one of the strongest technical people in my batch and department.
And that became my fucking graveyard.
Because when you're the best person in a relatively weak environment, it's very easy to confuse being the best around you with actually being good.
I got comfortable.
I didn't have enough people around me who were better than me to constantly remind me how much I still didn't know.
So I didn't aspire as much as I should have.
Third year came.
So did placements.
And 99% of the companies coming to campus were, honestly, shit.
One company offered me a 4 LPA job with a two-year bond.
I rejected it.
I had two internships under my belt, my profile was decent, and I thought I could do better. I wanted at least 7 LPA.
At the time, I was getting two or three interviews relatively easily. I also landed another internship at a decent startup. It was remote, the stipend was shit, but the work was genuinely good and I was learning a lot.
And then I made my second major mistake.
I started depending on that internship for a PPO.
I stopped looking as aggressively as I should have.
I didn't keep applying.
I didn't keep reaching out.
I didn't push nearly hard enough.
I basically convinced myself that if I did good work, the PPO would take care of everything.
Big fucking mistake.
May 2026 came around.
PPO discussions started.
And they offered me... something so bad that I genuinely thought they were joking.
I was expecting something around the range I had been targeting.
Instead, it was basically a salary that made me go, you've got to be kidding me.
So I rejected it.
Again.
College ended in May 2026.
And suddenly, reality hit.
I'm writing this now without an offer in hand.
And, honestly, I'm scared.
I still am.
But this past month has probably taught me more about careers and life than three years of college did.
I've learned that being decent isn't enough.
Building projects isn't enough.
Having a GitHub isn't enough.
Having internships isn't enough.
Being technically good isn't enough.
I have to do the hard shit.
I have to become genuinely fucking good at what I do.
And then I have to put myself out there.
I have to DM people.
I have to reach out to founders.
I have to post my work.
I have to show people what I'm building.
I have to apply.
I have to get rejected.
I have to keep going anyway.
I spent a lot of time thinking that if I became good enough, someone would eventually notice.
Maybe that's true to some extent.
But that's not how the game works.
You have to be good and you have to make sure the right people know you exist.
So that's where I am right now.
Somewhere between being terrified about what happens next and being ridiculously hopeful that I'll figure this shit out.
I don't know exactly how long it's going to take.
I don't know where I'll end up.
I don't even know if the decisions I'm making right now are the right ones.
But I'm working.
I'm learning.
I'm building.
I'm reaching out.
And I'm trying to become someone who doesn't make the same mistakes twice.
I'm probably delusional.
I'm definitely high on hope.
But I refuse to believe that this is where the story ends.
The night is dark right now.
But the night isn't forever.